The World According To Me

1. Take 7 days of detoxing, add approx 6 champagnes and 2 vodka & orange's on a stomach lined with fruit and herbal tea. Mix well.
2. Proceed straight to the fancy new toilets of a fancy new Shepparton establishment and BRING IT ALL BACK UP AGAIN. Violently*.
3. Continue to retch on hands and knees in your driveway when the taxi drops you home*.
4. Pray for rain to wash away such evidence.
5. Write off Sunday.

That, Ladies and Gentlemen, was my weekend in review. Not even a chance to have a dance or find a semi-reasonable bed-mate. I am so angry/disappointed.


*Remember to hold hair away from path of spew.