The World According To Me

I am getting used to my eyebrows, they may not be as bad as I originally thought. I always tend to overreact to these things in any event. Once when I was 15, I had very long, very plain hair and desperately coveted the 'Rachel from Friends' cut. My mum duly took me to a hairdresser who HACKED THE BEJESUS OUT OF MY HAIR before realising that the only reason it was reasonably straight before she started was because it was long and the weight was keeping it in check. Moral of the story no. 1 - if you have a white girl's afro you cannot also have a fringe. The two are absolutely mutually exclusive. And this was in the day before the Muster became my best friend, mind. So I ended up looking like a complete retard and cried when I got out of the salon. Not when I got back home but before I even stepped out of there I had tears in my eyes and sobbed when we got to the car and screeched "She's ruuuuiiiinnned my haaaaaiiiirr". Delightful teenager I was. No amount of semi-sincere cajoling from my mum could make up for the poodle perched atop my noggin and I don't know which fucked up version of 'Friends' the hairdresser was watching in scissor-happy land but it wasn't remotely similar to the one I knew of. Moral of the story no. 2 - know the limits of your hair. Ooh, and 3. Find a hairdresser you can trust. This story is well off the track now as I can't find any way to link it back to my shit eyebrows but I've started and now we must press on. Don't be looking for any sort of link back later on, ok? Great.

My current hairdresser is great, I've been going to him for 4 years now and I've never come out of his shop unhappy, apart from that one time when the apprentice tried to straighten my hair and she cocked it up a bit and I had to go home and re-straighten it myself. Now I have learned never to say that I don't have anything to do that night and pretend it's all for a function and my actual hairdresser will straighten my hair which is great because he starts off by using 2 hairdryers at once, in one hand whilst simultaneously dislocating my neck by pulling on my hair with those massive big rolly brushes because he is clearly a Superhero in hairdresser world. Typing that sentence just left me out of breath. Anyway, I went to see him on Thursday and we started off with him saying "What are we doing today?" and I say "Just a number two thanks" as I do every time and we both do a fake-laugh because he knows that I am precious about keeping my hair long at the same time as a number of other requirements that are not always conducive to having said long hair (such as "Can you make it so it doesn’t take me ages to do in the morning?" and he says "Kymmy, your hair is very, very thick and very, very long and it's curly whereas you like to wear it straight") and thus he pretty much ignored me (as always) and did what he liked (as always) and I love it. I can't stop swishing it about in the mirror and checking which way looks the sexiest. The other things I like about my hairdresser;