The World According To Me

Thursday I finally got my much-anticipated haircut. I collapsed into the chair after work and announced to my lovely hairdresser that I needed the Works Burger of hairdressing. 3 hours later he was finished and I am a changed woman with swingy shiny hair with not a hint of grey. Hurrah!

Friday morning I was up early, bathed Lucy and took her to mum's place on the way to Melbourne. Mum was (understandably) very nervous about looking after her (Lucy is a jumper, and then a runner, and mum's fences aren't very high). I reminded her that I had looked after her daughter for three days last week without incident and that it can't be that hard to look after my child-substitute for one night. Kept on my way to the big city, had a dream run through with traffic and was at BFF & BFFGF's house by 2pm. Drinking commenced shortly thereafter. By 6pm I was entirely smashed, along with everyone else. There were seven of us and we all caught a cab into the city. The driver was very friendly and affable and as we were wrecked, we decided the best thing to do would be to call his cab company to let his managers know what a great driver he was. We did that for most of the way from Carnegie to the CBD. He should have about 75 gold stars next to his name by now. In the city we met up with more friends who were still to catch up with our level of inebriation and headed to Trades Hall. More drinks consumed in the bar there, before hearing into the Tardis for THE SHOW.

All I can say about THE SHOW is that I am really proud of her. She was on fire, it was piss funny and so together and picked on me and also BFF when he dropped his empty beer cup. It was a tiny, tiny venue and such an incident could not go unnoticed. Given that BFF is her brother she ripped into him and it was tres amusing. More drinks in the Trades Hall bar afterwards and we then headed to Stalactites for some food. I discovered saganaki and now my world is a much better place. How could I have possibly lived for 25 years without discovering there was a dish made completely of cheese? Thank goodness they put our group upstairs out of sight from anyone else as we were terribly behaved, singing and carrying on and generally being spankers. We then crawled on to one of my favourite city pubs, the Exford. Oh Exford, how I love thee, with your dingy surrounds and questionable punters. They were having some sort of mini comedy fest of their own, but only two out of the five comedians were in any way mirth inducing. It was a difficult venue, at 1am on a Saturday morning, with no-one really interested in listening, especially to those who weren't funny. I met one of the guys after his little set as he was a friend of a friend, and he seemed a bit sad about the whole situation. When he was going he even thanked me for laughing. Hmmmm. It must be a tough gig. By this stage I was beyond comfortably drunk and switched to glasses of water (!) which is definitely a sign that I am getting old. Then we went home, and I passed out under the comfort of my doona prior to the frozen pizza exiting the oven.

Saturday morning we had a big greasy breakfast and I went to the cheapo shop next to the cafe and purchased myself my very first nudie-girl ashtray. Not that I smoke inside at my house, but I have always wanted one and for a whole dollar I was damn well going to get it. Then began the long hungover drive home. I wanted to go to the Diana Ferrari factory outlet on the way to see if I could get some bargainacious shoes for my big hoofers. Score! Two pairs. Then I went to the handbag place next door because my wallet has been broken for oh, four months now….score! New Jag wallet and new Jag handbag (handbag was unplanned) for $20 each. Goddamn I love Melbourne sometimes.

Picked up Lucy on the way home and slept very, very soundly that night. Sunday and Monday were spent being domesticated and watching DVD's ('Little Miss Sunshine' - am I the only person who hadn't seen that movie? I loved it. And I purchased 'Garden State' very cheaply also, which I loved already). I was just getting into the swing of things when it was rudely time to come back to work this morning. And now we're up to date.

Bad stuff - when eating my greasy breakfast on Saturday morning I chomped down on a piece of grilled tomato (grilled tomato - possibly softest breakfast food possible aside from eggs) and cracked a tooth. A molar, right up the back of my mouth on the bottom. And then on Sunday morning some more cracked off, leaving me with a sharp piece which is currently cutting my tongue to shreds and leaving me with a slight speech impediment. Fucking charming. I have had to make an appointment with the dentist for Thursday and am not looking forward to it. Booooooo.