The World According To Me

I fear that this blog is repetitive. When I try and think of things to write about, I draw from my actual real day to day life and inevitably I conclude that my actual real day to day life is as boring as shit. This morning, I awoke to Esme perched on my chest and miaowing into my face. To me that's pretty funny, but you don't know my pets and you probably don't fund that amusing. On the weekend I got stoned a lot, but I also did that the weekend prior. I met the same interesting but ultimately unsuitable men at the pub that I meet most weekends. Nothing is new. I am bored. I had a conversation last night with V over vodka cans about what we'd do if we had penises (penii?). The general conclusion was that we would just put it in anything and everything we could, mainly inanimate objects. Now that amused me, but it isn't particularly blog-worthy. You've probably had the same discussion with your friends. Unless you're a bloke reading this, and then you've possibly just done it all already.

I want to feel excited and shiny and hopeful. I want to take risks. I don't want to crash. I want the most interesting thing to happen in my day be something other than the evening meal I had.