The World According To Me

I know that I have done this before - made promises to blog regularly and then written two half-arsed posts before pissing off back into the ether without so much as a brb. So I hereby promise to no longer make promises. It's better for everyone that way.

I wonder if anyone checks in on this blog anymore. If I were a reader I would've given up eons ago, but if anyone does stop by to see if I have imparted any more stories about being stoned or going to the gym - firstly, why bother? That's not interesting in the slightest. Secondly, hiya!

I've missed blathering on here, I really have. It was an outlet which was cathartic and safe. I liked being able to crap on about what I ate for breakfast on the weekend or muse over what I dreamed about the night before without worrying that whoever I was telling would think I was naff and idiotic. Or if you did, you didn't comment. I like it that way.

There are lots of good things going on in my world at the moment. I have made a verrrry long overdue start into therapy. I do hate that word, 'therapy', it's so American and overused, But my preferences for applicable terms aside, I have a wonderful psychologist who has been and continues to be absolutely magic in helping me make sense of myself. God, that does sound like a pile of wank doesn't it? That doesn't matter - the point is that I feel as though I'm making some pretty amazing inroads at the moment, I am feeling much more in control and actually looking forward to what the future holds. At the directive of the psych I have given up pot. He thought this would be a fairly difficult quest for me but once I got over having to face reality every evening, and more probably to avoid a home-based detox he thought I would benefit from (complete with a week off work and home visits from professionals - for reals. I freaked out at the thought) - it's been fine. My head is clear, my thoughts are clear, and I am almost....allllmost okay with the sleep issues. I've had to find more constructive ways to spend my evenings than spazzing out on the couch and eating anything unfortunate enough to come into my line of vision.

The massive drinking sessions....well, I am still working on that. Again, finding more constructive things to do with my time on weekends is the key - and not thinking that if I don't go out, get messed up and shag someone that my life is not worth living. I still have difficulty just going to the pub/party/function and having one or two drinks, instead of 15. So I just haven't been bothering to go out at all, mostly. Perhaps this is unsustainable and I will simply have to learn how to have a good time without getting completely wasted but for the moment it's a good course of action.

Dinner is calling out to me (roasted veg and spinach & ricotta cannelloni, if you're interested. Slightly weird combination but I need to do my groceries very soon) and I'd best go rescue it.

So, hi again. It's nice to be back.

x