Saturday, April 29, 2006
My illusions are shattered
Good news, however - I just took a banana and walnut loaf out of the oven and it smells DIVINE.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
The one where Kymmy reminisces
After a few wrong turns with me acting as chief navigator "Left here. LEFT HERE" and "Do you have a Citylink day-pass?" "A what?" "Ummm………nevermind, just keep driving" we finally arrived at our destination. An hour and a half early. I'd never been to Rod Laver Arena before (I know, I know, I'm a complete bumpkin) so we walked around, ate potato wedges that were saturated in oil, smoked cigarettes in the 'designated areas' and drank over-priced, weak coffee. I toyed with the idea of parting with $20 for a program but decided against it in the end. We collected our tickets and I was horrified to find the warning "Side View - May Be Impeded View" printed on them. This, of course, provoked a quiet tantrum from me ("If we can't see David Gray, I will CRY", I hissed between clenched teeth). When we actually got into the stadium and were directed to our seats, I was happy that we had a clear view of the stage. I think that the fact that I was semi-prepared for the prospect of not being able to see the show properly balanced out any disappointment I may have had that we were sitting so far back. So we waited, and waited, interspersed with a lot of "Eeeeeeeee! We're here! We're seeing David Gray! I'm so excited!" from me, repeatedly. That must have been annoying.
So the support act came on, a soloist who I had actually heard of before, Lior. He was wonderful, a real sort of rootsy sound. It was very cute when he dedicate his penultimate track to his wife because it was her birthday and she was in the audience. Awwwwww. He is starting a national tour soon and is coming to Shepparton (WTF?) so we will be going along then, methinks.
Anyway, David Gray finally came on stage and I got goosebumps when his opening track ("Alibi", from the new album). It's all a bit of a blur from there, to be honest. There was dancing (to "Babylon" and "Please Forgive Me") and face-splitting grinning and singing along (to everything) and little tears when he played "Shine" (although I was slightly distracted by the Irish bird sitting behind us because she kept blabbering on about something. Silly cow).
My fears of the venue not being entirely appropriate were somewhat allayed in that the acoustics were perfect and I don't think there was too much lost by playing in such a cavernous venue. Having said that, I've not anything to compare it to. One day I think I'd like to see him play in a smaller venue, just to see the difference.
I was thrilled with the whole thing, but I think if David Gray had of gotten up on stage and forgotten the lyrics to his songs I still would have been thrilled. I'm a huge fan, and have been for quite a while. Listening to certain songs of his evokes crystal clear memories which I love to revisit.
Will continue at a later stage with the story of the Poochie, poor little poppet she is….
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Coming Soon.......
Details about the David Gray gig! (Hint - it was f*cking AWESOME)
ANOTHER Lucy-escaping tale!
Stay tuned.....
I'm busy, okay? Unfortunately when I'm not at work, there's no little desk-fairy who comes and does my stuff, bugger it.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Looky likey
So basically, somehow (I'm not much with the technical stuff) you upload a photo of yourself onto the program, it scans certain points on your face and then figures out who you most look like, celebrity wise. There's a moderate data-base that the site runs from, so I'm unaware as to who half the celebrities I apparently look like, are.
So just for kicks, this is some of who the whiz-bang program says I look similar to;
Do you know how difficult it is to find a photo of Shannon Elizabeth with her clothes on?
I'd be happy if I did look like these chicks, but I don't. Dark hair is about the only thing we've got in common. And even then, Sheryl Crow is blonde. Hmmmm.
I've only ever been compared to the first one, and that's usually by pissed blokes (and a couple of pissed chicks). Someone also once told me I reminded them of Judith Lucy, but that wasn't a physical comparison, more that I like to drink and talk crassly about my boobs (not always at the same time). Also, as much as I wish I could, I simply cannot pull off red lipstick the way she does.
Go on, try it. You'll spend your weekend convinced you look like a movie-star, and have me to thank for it.
x
Things I know today
- There's two more sleeps 'til the David Gray concert and I am VERY EXCITED.
- Plants look heaps perkier if you water them on a regular basis.
- Playing dead/unconscious on your unsuspecting partner for a joke isn't always funny, especially if you are an amazing actress and it's a very realistic. Especially if he freaks right out and afterwards, gets the shakes. Sometimes you feel bad too.
- It's Friday, and I heart Fridays badly.
- Lucy will be very cold outside today.
- People at my work are commenting (nicely) on my choice of jewellery, and that makes me feel special.
- Gluten-free Wheat-free cakes taste like shit. Even if you bake them yourself. There is no substitute for the real thing.
- I have another 4 day weekend coming up (hurrah!).
- The little toy Orangutan on my desk wants me to play.
- I want an i-pod really bad.
That is all.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Is that a Yeti? No, I'd say it's a….
Time to go winter shoe-shopping. This fills me with absolute dread every single year because it is doubtless that I will start my hunt filled with fresh anticipation and end up in a screaming heap making swears at passers-by.
This is because, ladies and gentlemen, I have a pair of quite large feet. And finding footwear that doesn't look like it belongs on a. a nanna or b. a man is unjustly motherchucking difficult.
I think I've mentioned before on here that I'm quite tall. I'm pushing six feet without shoes. To aid me in not falling face-first in the dirt every time I take a step, I have been blessed with some proportionate hoofers to get me from A to B. Which is okay since people don't tend to confuse me with Bozo the Clown, but completely shithouse when it comes to trying to buy shoes. Apparently, almost every woman has feet which are a size 10 and under. And I need an 11, perhaps a 12, depending on whether they're closed in or open-toed, or what brand they are. I don't even go into shoe-shops anymore and just look around wistfully at shoes I would like, I march straight up to the counter and enquire as to whether they stock 'larger sizes'.
Larger sizes.
At which time, I'm usually met with something along the lines of "Ho ho ho noooooo, we don't stock anything like that", "We have a nice men's range, perhaps you could find something….neutral….there that you might like?" or "Sorry, no….'Freaks R Us' are just around the corner though".
And the worst thing is, I really love shoes. I mean really really love shoes. The problem is because I can hardly ever find shoes I like enough to buy, I tend to wear them out. I get them re-heeled, straps get fixed, scratches get colour-matched and painted over, in fact the shoe-repair guy I go to knows my name now.
But I need new shoes. For work, mainly. I currently have a lovely pair of hot pink kitten heels which I wear a lot, and interchange them with some dark brown flats when the mood strikes, but right now my toes are starting to get cold. They are both made by this company, which is where I get the vast majority of my shoes from, bless their hearts, they extend their range to an 11, and sometimes a 12. But I'd like to have a bit more of a choice. For instance, if I could find a shoe without beading, glitter, that aren't metallic, that have a heel less than 4 inches (I mean for fucks, the last thing I need is more height), but don't look like I should be playing lawn-bowls in them, I would be such a happy poppet.
So if anyone, anyone knows where I can get shoes from that won't cost half a year's salary or involve a trip overseas, please tell me. I would be most grateful.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
AND
If you are ever bored and are in dire need of a new form of entertainment, simply tie the bell from the Lindt bunny you got for Easter to your dog's collar.
It's HILARIOUS. Trust me.
Sail away with me, Honey...
- Eucalyptus oil steamings;
- Ritualistic sacrifices of insects which were then made into a paste via the mortar and pestle and snorted;
- Rabid imbibing of Echinacea;
- A 'poultice';
- Sleeping with our feet pointing due east.
Undoubtedly the best things that have happened since my last post are;
I have submitted my first literature essay. 1500-odd (and I use the word 'odd' quite loosely) words of pointless drivel. I'm hoping the marker will see past my obvious lack of research or knowledge of the subject and instead focus on my wonderful sentence construction and raping of the thesaurus. It worked in High School.
I don't have breast cancer. Although I do have to now endure regular six-monthly ordeals of that revolting jelly stuff they use with ultrasounds all over my boosies. It's always so freezing and reminds me vaguely of jelly-wrestling without the fun. The open-fronted gown is quite a delight, however.
Pom has secured tickets for us to see David Gray down in the big smoke on Sunday. I unashamedly adore Gray's music and am very pleased that I will finally get to see him live. Although it is at the Rod Laver Arena and I'm not entirely convinced that such a large venue will do him justice, however having said that I'm used to watching the DVD in my loungeroom and that is perhaps why I'm a bit miffed that the gig won't be more 'intimate'. You can't always sit on a couch and enjoy such things. Full report to follow.
I was very tempted over the weekend to post about my experiences with slightly sickly blokes and how pathetic they are upon the presence of a sniffle, but Pom has been especially lovely to me of late and I had to re-assess whether writing about how sooky and wretched he had been was fair, given the circumstances.
So I won't.
Ahem.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Damn I hate Mondays
Wowee.
The last 48-odd hours has involved the following;
A lot of gardening and housework. About 40 loads of washing, vacuuming, Pom mowed the lawns, I weeded the garden beds and the whole place looks a lot more tidy now. It was lovely to sit down on Saturday evening in a pristine house and enjoy the satisfaction of our hard work.
We welcomed a new member into our family - Li-Li the Japanese Bamboo plant. She lives on top of the wooden chest under the window in the loungeroom. I almost wanted to call the plant Ming-Lee (South Park) or Ting-Tong (Little Britain) but decided against it. I reserve my right to change that at any time. Here she is in all her glory;
Hope she lasts more than a week.
A late-night trip to the hospital on Friday to sit in a waiting room full of drugged out bogans and an imminent first-time mum (which was sort of vicariously exciting);
Another Lucy-escape rescue mission entailing a very riled but initially scared Pom, me running down the street in thongs trying to re-capture my naughty dog, and said naughty dog almost getting skittled by a number of cars driving rightfully on the road. She only decided to give up the game when I pretended to concede defeat and sat down in the middle of the footpath. She got curious, turned back and came up to me and was nabbed immediately.
I 'met' Pom's parents last night via Skype and a webcam. Amazing. Amazing amazing amazing. Usually when meeting the parents it would involve dinner, or at the very least a coffee, but I did this from the comfort of my own lounge. And they were lovely.
Purchased new coriander plant to take the place of the old, dead one. Have not yet planted it.
Exeunt.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Typical
There was no-one around, so I discretely 'fixed' the issue whilst I was walking, and was quite pleased with myself until I looked up and saw this:
For Fuck's.
At least someone's going to get a laugh on Friday.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Battle of the nerds
It's a regular occurrence at said establishment, but it's our inaugural attendance.
I am excited.
Why?
So glad you asked.
This is why:
There will more than likely be a counter-meal involved (night off from cooking)
Pub = Wine. And for some reason if there's a prospect of getting completely smashed on a weeknight as opposed to a weekend, I'm all for it.
Trivia. Finally, my obsession with purchasing trashy mags which contain loads of allegedly useless celebrity information will pay off, I just know it. I know the names of Reese Witherspoon's two children AND the names of Angelina Jolie's ex-husbands. And my ability to retain other seemingly useless knowledge is renowned. I KNOW STUFF ABOUT STUFF. I can't tell you important things, but if it's otherwise never going to come in handy or bear any relevance to anyone's life, more than likely it's up there in my strange brain.
I hope we win a meat tray. Or at the very least, a 6-pack of beers to share between 8 people.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Questions I would like answers to. (Now please).
To my mum - Did you know it was a bad idea to marry him at the time? Even at 9 years old I didn't like him and I like him a lot less now.
To my brain - Why won't you stop buzzing at night when I am trying to get to sleep? I don't want to think about shit all the time. A little blankety-blank time would be nice of an evening.
To the bloke in school with the initials B.G. who thought he was teh shit - Do you have a major drug habit and are riddled with syphilis now? Ha, thought so.
To the bloke who was standing behind me when I defended that shot last night at netball. Yeah you, the one who I accidentally kicked in the nuts - DID YOU NOT FIND IT HILARIOUS? And also, why did you completely ignore me when I apologised? Yeah, I was laughing when I said 'Sorry', but you could at least have acknowledged me. I don't like your kind, the ones who missed the sense of humour gene.
To my Dad - What happened to you to make you so cold?
To my beloved Grandmother - Does the secret to your longevity and exquisite loveliness lie in drinking Port and smoking Alpine One's every day? If I do the same will every member of my family adore me and look after me when I'm old? (Hope so!)
To Pom - Do you ever get tempted to tell me to pull my head in when I get all sooky and stampy and behave like a petulant child? (I mean, don't do it, but I'm curious. x)
To Lucy - WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR LITTLE MIND? (Subject of much speculation in the Kymmy and Pom household. I almost don't want to know the answer to it). Also, what do you see when you do that weird thing where your tail points out and your ears prick up and you intently stare at nothing?
To Cadbury's - Do you think you could make those mini Easter eggs all year round? I am quite fond of them.
Answers below please. Sanku.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Things I am loving at the moment (an incomplete list)
- Lucy (always);
- Cool nights (very conducive to sleeping);
- The cigarette rolling machine we purchased on the weekend (such a novelty!);
- When Pom and I have entire conversations in stupid accents;
- Hot chocolate before bed.
Not loving quite so much;
- That the Coriander plant in my herb garden has passed on (lack of sunlight - SO NEEDY);
- Pounding headaches the morning after drinking only 6 glasses of champagne (I am losing my touch so badly);
- Dishes piled up on the sink;
- Natty underwear in dire need of replacement;
- Split ends.
One Down, 27 bazillion* to go
We also went bowling last night. We were to meet up with some others to play a couple of games just for kicks, more because there's a $5 per game special after 6 on Sunday nights, and no-one can resist a bargain. Pom and I rocked up just after 6, as per instructions, and hung around waiting for the others to turn up. Waited, and waited and waited. I started to get a little cross about the fact that they hadn't turned up, so we decided to have a game ourselves while we waited. It was about half way through that game when I realised that I hadn't accounted for daylight-savings, and that we weren't being snubbed, rather that we were an entire hour early. I'm such a dickhead. In any event, our game finished 131-75 in my favour, just in time for the others to show up. My so-called skills died a swift death after this, and I came nowhere near the glory of that first game again. Sigh. We skipped the subsequent barbecue, which I was a bit sad about, but I had to be sensible on a Sunday night, and thus I feel relatively healthy today.
Maybe more on the weekend later.
*Lots
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
