The World According To Me

This whole not smoking thing is shithouse.

This morning I got disproportionately cross at something on my computer screen, a workmate sweetly rubbed my back in a 'there, there' kind of way and I burst into tears. And could not stop. In between snot and tears and gulping sobs I got it out that I had not had a cigarette in almost 2 days and I was not coping. My head is fucked, really spacey and anxious. I was laughing and crying at the same time, and trying to explain it feels like PMS when you have really no control over your emotions. God bless my workmates, they bought me chocolate to cheer me up. Those girls really do know the way to my heart (when champagne isn't available).

This is so bizarre, I feel like a right junkie trying to come off the gear - and it's only cigarettes! However, no more crapping on about it on this here blog as quite frankly the topic is only interesting to me.

Last night was the first night of the year where there has been need to rug up a little - it was a lovely change. I had to rummage through my wardrobe and find a hoodie to keep me snuggly, and when I went to bed the cats were very intent on scooting under the doona to keep warm. I felt a bit loved, even though I really know they are only using me for my body heat.